To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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